what you say and how they feel

Matthew 12:35-37
   Some years ago I attended a graduation ceremony during which the speaker made the usual appropriate comments, and then made a statement which, for me at least, was memorable. It goes as follows, "It is not so much what one says that you remember, but how one makes you feel by what they said." What I took from that speech was, "words matter'.
     Indeed, words matter for they can build up or tear down. They can edify and educate, or they can destroy and depreciate. Words can send mixed messages, leaving questions and confusion, causing the hearer to ask, "What did he mean by that?"  Cf James 3.
      Col 4:6 reminds us to, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. KJV How does what you say make people feel? Usually we guard our words with friends and strangers, but what about those closest to us? Are we careful to guard our speech when speaking to our spouse and children? How do we make them feel? A whole gamut of emotions are experienced may result from what we say and how we say it.
     Words spoken in anger, or frustration are designed to hurt, so they won't help the situation. Husbands and wives, far too often use words that are like welts on the skin and cause deep wounds which take a long time to heal, leaving bitter memories. Parents say things that deeply scar the psyches of their children, leaving them to cope with emotional scars in adulthood.
     What do people remember most about your encounters, your words, or how you made them feel by your words?  
        Proverbs 12:18 is a good verse to memorize.
       Adolph Baumbach set the words of Psalm 19:14 to music and from his efforts we have the chorus "Let the Word of My Mouth" to remind us that we should taste our words before we speak to see if they be sweet.